中英文幽默笑话

  Bring up Children

   Mary:Daddy, I wouldn’t want you to say anything to mommy about it, but I don’t think she knows much about bringing up children.   Daddy: Why, Mary, what makes you say that?   Mary: Well, she often makes me go to bed when I am awake widely, and she makes me get up Runes of Magic gold when I am falling asleep awfully.   抚养孩子   玛丽：爸爸，我想妈妈不太会抚养孩子，你可不要对妈妈说。   爸爸：玛丽，这是为什么？你怎么会那样说呢？   玛丽：常常我完全醒的时候，她让我上床睡觉，我非常瞌睡的时候，她却让我起床。   A Dog Can Play The Piano   A guy walks into a bar with a cheap Runes of Magic gold small dog. The bartender says, “Get out of here with that dog!”   The guy says, “But this isn't just any dog, this dog can play the piano!”The bartender replies, “Well, if he can play that piano, you both can stay and have a drink on the house!” So the guy sits the dog on the ROM Gold piano stool, and the dog starts playing. Ragtime, Mozart…… and the bartender and patrons are enjoying the music. Suddenly a bigger dog runs in, grabs the small dog by the scruff of the neck, and drags him out. The bartender asks the guy,“What was that all about?” The guy replies,“Oh, that was his mother. She wanted him to be a doctor buy Runes of Magic gold .”   会弹钢琴的狗   一个人带着他的狗走进一家酒吧。酒吧服务生对他说，“这里不能带狗进来，请离开吧!”   那个人对服务生说，“这可不是一般的狗，它可是会弹钢琴的!”服务生回答说，“呃，如果它真的能弹钢琴，你们可以免费在这喝上一杯!”那个人把狗放到了弹钢琴坐的凳子上面，狗就开始了演奏。先是拉格泰姆音乐，接着弹莫扎特还有其他的……服务生和顾客们都非常欣赏它的弹奏。突然，一只体形更大的狗跑了进来，一把抓住小狗的脖子就把它拽出去了。酒吧服务生问那个人，“那是怎么回事？”那人回答，“噢，那是它妈妈。它不想它儿子玩音乐，而是做一名医生。”   Einstein and God   Einstein climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God. Looking up, he asks the Lord：“God, what does a million years mean to you?” The Lord replies,“A minute.” Einstein asks,“And what does a million dollars mean to you?”The  Lord replies,“A cheap ROM Gold penny.” Einstein asks,“Can I have a penny?” The Lord replies, “In a minute.”   爱因斯坦与上帝   爱因斯坦登上西奈山与上帝近距离交谈。仰望着上帝，他问道：“神啊，一百万年对于你来说相当于什么呢？”上帝回答：“一分钟。”爱因斯坦问：“一百万元对于你来说又相当于什么呢？”上帝回答：“一分钱。”爱因斯坦问：“能给我一分钱吗？”上帝说：“请等一分钟。”